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RITES OF PASSAGE
by John T. Crestwell, Jr.
May 30, 2004

Thank you Sharon. I am always moved by the words of that great spiritual. “Motherless Child” is indeed, my all time favorite. For it speaks to that inner cry we all have to feel complete; our deep desire to have peace of mind and body. We all want to feel whole. We all want to believe that life has meaning. You know, life can be very lonely at times. And when I think, particularly, about our soldiers, I can understand if many of them, who sit at deaths door, feel life is meaningless. Many, I am sure, feel that what they are doing is nonsensical. And I’m sure there are others who take great pride in what they are doing too…

I’m not here this morning to discuss the war on this Sunday leading into Memorial Day. Rather, I am wrestling with this issue of finding worth and meaning in life. It was not that long ago, and many of you know this, when I wondered if life had any meaning or purpose. And there are days even still, when I look at many of the tragedies and calamities of life that I still wonder… When I was a Christian I didn’t worry as much. That’s the truth. The answers were right there for me for the taking. The mystery was solved. The puzzle was already put together. But something I cannot explain called me to search deeper and to ask myself those complex existential questions that only lead to more questions...

One of my new favorite poems you’ve heard before is - By Guillaume Apollinaire, called, Come to the edge. It goes, “COME TO THE EDGE. (the answer comes back) We are afraid. Come to the edge. (they answer)You’ll push us. Come to the edge. They came to the edge. He pushed them. They flew!”

The poem speaks to that almost schizophrenic conversation we have with ourselves; that conversation that calls us to challenge the status quo in our minds—to ask those questions—to search in places most aren’t willing to go. We go to that edge. And some of us get brave and we jump off and free fall into that great unknown. There aren’t many answers there, just more questions… And so, in a way, ignorance is bliss. Once you step outside of that box you really can’t go back. Once your eyes are opened, you cannot shut them again. How do you find meaning and purpose when your eyes are opened to a new reality?

We have to go back a little and look at the evolution of the human species. A. Powell Davies helped us with that with the reading this morning. Davies, in substance, said that humanity created its gods and goddesses out of the fear of the unknown. The gods represented protection. Early men and women bowed down to these images, giving them life, and then created sophisticated systems based in superstition, but it supported their needs. The institutional church is one of the sophisticated systems that came into being as a result.

Over the years, science has moved our society into what many define as a culture of disbelief as we have, decade after decade, come to see that our ideas of existence are being disproved one by one. The ancient religious myths that held our culture together are dismantling. Now greater mysteries are being discovered, but the problem is the culture still follows stories from a time that no longer exists, and there aren’t many new stories that guide us spiritually—stories that give this new generation of humanity meaning and purpose. To sum it up, modern humanity’s theology has not caught up with its technology, and as a result, we have rituals, ideas, and rites of passage that do not speak to our time and place. And so, we shun creeds and religious rituals and say they are meaningless. We cannot fully relate to the ancient stories…

Now, we have a choice, either we must find new meanings in ancient legends and myths or find new modern myths for our post-modern civilization. I’m reminded of the words of Daniel Quinn in his book Ishmael, “You can’t just root out a complex of ideas and leave a void behind; you have to give people something that is as meaningful as what they’ve lost.”

It is obvious to me when you look at a very secular America, that we live in a world that is becoming more and more meaningless. The drive of capitalism with its survival of the fittest mentality, which has led to a sort of rugged individualism, will not be the answer we are looking for. Pharmaceuticals are cashing in on our prescription drug culture. As we go through this difficult transition as humans from antiquity to modernity, many seek relief for their depression and anxiety by medicating the pain away.

The answer for us this morning, and perhaps even A. Powell Davies missed this point, lies in the fact that we have to understand that we are not fully removed from what we might call “primitive humankind.” We are connected as human beings to Homo Erectus and to the original Homo Sapiens. Yes, we share their apprehensions. We share their fears. We may be an advanced species but the mortal fears of life are still within us. We may not create gods. We may not dance around the fire. We may not go into a trance and prophecy about the future. We may not smoke the peace pipe… Well, some of you may have in the 60’s (smile). We may not do that tribal stuff, but we all still share a kindred human spirit with early evolving humankind. We want the questions, “Why am I here?” and “What happens to me when it’s over?” answered.

The sermon is titled “Rites of Passage” and what I mean by the words is that we must pass from the need to have a set system of beliefs based in fear, to a belief system based on fulfilling human sociological and psychological needs. Now, I don’t mean to sound so philosophical today… Well, who am I kidding, I’m Unitarian Universalist, philosophy is what we do. But anyhow, there is a difference in the ancient belief system and the modern belief system. The former was based in superstition, sort of believe or else mentality to protect the fragile human psyche, and the latter should be based in the basic understanding that humans need community to protect the fragile human psyche. One means well, but it forces communal relationships through fear, the other asks that we spend time together because, quite simply, we need each other. It is no secret that humans are pack animals and need community so that we can express our individuality.

I remember talking to Sharon’s dad after the loss of his wife, Sharon’s mom, to breast cancer. About a year after the loss, my father-in-law said to me that he needed a new person in his life because he didn’t have anyone to tell his stories too. As trivial as it sounds, he had lived 32 years going home to someone. Now he felt a deep void in his life. He was not accustomed to living alone like some of us. He needed someone. And so it is, when we break bread together, that is community and is vital. You see community is fellowship like we do so well here at Davies. Community is having people you can rely on in times of trouble. Community means you/we are not alone and need not be afraid of living. Where two or more are gathered together, there is community!

Do you remember the movie “Castaway” with Tom Hanks? The FEDEX plane crashed leaving Hanks’s character as the lone survivor. He lived for many years eating— I think it was coconuts and crabs. He got real lonely you could imagine. He was on the brink of losing his mind. He needed an outlet to express his humanity, his emotions, and frustrations. So, he finds a soccer ball made by the Wilson Company. The ball was a part of the wreckage from the crash. Over time, he names the ball Wilson. By naming it, he sort of breathed life into the ball. Their relationship developed and he talked to this ball like I’m talking to you right now. The ball was his best friend. He took it everywhere he went. That ball became his salvation. It was his community.

On his way from the island, attempting a daring escape to get home, he loses the ball in the rough seas. As the ball floats away he cries out in agony, “Wilson”. “Wilson”. “Wilson”. It was a deep cry. If you’ve seen the movie, this was one of the most dramatic parts. The agony was some of the deepest you’ll ever see portrayed. Hanks’ character mourned the loss of the ball as if he had lost the most precious thing he had. In fact he did lose the most precious thing he had… The movie shows us that humans need community.

So, when I think about our church, it is very important to know that we are not alone. Some of you are married and have each other but you still need an outlet to share with others. If you have children, this church becomes a place where you and they can be nurtured and guided through your varying stages of life. And if you are single, this church is an outlet for you to find individuals or groups of people who share common interests and hobbies. There’s no reason any of us should feel alone!

Another point is that it’s great to know there are others like me who are “seekers”. It is nice to know that here, in this place, there are 130 or so folk who understand what it’s like to wrestle with the existential questions. I thought I was alone when I walked away from my traditional religious roots. I was quite depressed and didn’t think there was anybody else out there, except my sympathetic and biased wife, who viewed life the way I did. Or perhaps she was just being a supportive spouse J. You get to that point where you start thinking, “Maybe there is something wrong with me.” Trust me, I DID NOT WANT TO BE THAT SPECIAL! I had a sociological and psychological need and this church filled it. I fully embraced what I saw and felt in this place.

As I conclude, it is important to understand that community is only as good as we allow it to be. What do I mean? Well, we are free to express our individuality—this is true. And we can come and go as we please. Church is not forced upon us. We don’t live with the fear of damnation over our heads. This is great, but I think sometimes our rugged individuality pushes us away into our little private corners, onto our deserted islands where we spend far too much time alone. We need each other. We should spend more time together. My suggestion is that we have to fully embrace this community and not be afraid to be absorbed by it, so that we can feel the true impact this church can have on our lives.

Rites of passage essentially mean, for me, that this church is here for you through all of your stages of life. You don’t have to feel as if you are a motherless child. You—WE are not alone. For where two or more are gathered, there is community in their midst. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you ALL for giving my existence meaning and purpose. And thank you for your time this morning.

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