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HOLD ON
John T. Crestwell, Jr.
October 23, 2005

“Hold On” was a Spiritual I learned in college at Hampton University when I pledged a music fraternity.  I’ll never forget the night I learned the song...  We were asked to get in line according to height and guess who was number 1? Yep, you guessed it—yours truly.  We were blind-folded then taken to a big field.  The Dean of Pledges began to speak to us:  “You are in hell young men and this night you shall learn the meaning of unity and togetherness.  Your line of 16 brothers will be broken apart and you must form it back together while blind-folded by any means necessary. Good luck…”

Let me just say, it was an impossible task.  The goal was really to scare us silly and let us know that for the next month our lives we were theirs if we wanted to be in their fraternity.  As I ran around and yelled for my line brothers, there were obstacles, namely other members of the fraternity knocking me down and yelling strange vulgar words in my little innocent 18 year old ears (smile).  I don’t remember much of what the brothers said to me that night, but one thing stands out in my mind and I have shared it with you before.   The brothers would say, “What does it take #1 to make it in this fraternity?  What does it take to make it in life?  I replied, “Uh—Love God?”  He yelled back, “No #1 that’s not it!  Remember this, for the rest of your life---It takes perseverance and heart—perseverance even in the face of darkness!”

After an exhausting hour of yelling my number and trying to find 16 other freshmen pledges, the brothers finally helped us form our line again, particularly because the cops came.  Then we had to run!  But after we reassembled, one of the fraternity members was with us (he’s a preacher today) but he began preaching to us and teaching us the song “Hold On” (we sang it a few minutes ago).  We would sing this song night after night after night.  He reminded us that it had deep historical roots and that if it carried our ancestors through many tough nights, it could carry us!

I say to you this morning the words “Hold on just a little while longer.  Everything’s gonna be alright” can carry you too!

I’m cynical though.  If you tell me when I am going through something tough to “hold on”, I’m going to look at you and say with love “Duh…What else can I do?  I could take my life but I’m not going to do that, so what else can I do but hold on and wait for a better day; wait for this burden to pass me by…  I could pray, I could meditate, I could think positively, it helps but it will not take the burden away.  Only time can do that.”

“What else can I do but hold on when I get passed up for that promotion because the folk in the office don’t like me?  What else can I do but hold on when I suffer a loss of someone who is a rock in my life?  What else can I do but hold on when my marriage or partnership is falling a part?  What else can I do but hold on when my business falls to pieces, or when I can’t pay my bills; or if I am lonely, what else can I do but hold on?”   What else can I do but hold on just a little while longer hoping that everything will be alright?”

As I wrote those last words I just uttered, I discovered that in developing that last run of sentences, I was trying to make a statement but I ended up asking a question.  I was stating “What else can I do but hold on?”  In a sense the sentence is a cry for an answer…  What else can I do?

I don’t know if I can help you with an answer because sometimes all you can do is hold on through the night hoping joy will be there in the morning.  However, there are other times when you can do things that will move you out of the “Why me?” to the “What now?”! (You’ve heard me say that before).  There are times when you can pull yourself out of your despair and begin anew.

When we lose someone dear to us; someone dies, this is a very traumatic loss and it is very difficult to overcome.  Time is the healer in this situation.  There is no other prescription.   There are good days and bad days, but ultimately, only the passing of many days will loosen the sting of the loss and in some cases the sting lasts forever.  The only thing I can say to you is that in those times I want you to look all around you because you are not alone. This may not help but there are people near and far who have had to endure great loss just like you.   In fact, right here in this church are friends all around you who can sympathize with you.   One person loses and learns— another learns and loses.  Suffering and death are grand equalizers in life.  And so, we can unite around this fact and comfort each other in those trying times… I know when you lose someone it is personal and so it’s necessary to deal with the loss; it is necessary to look at it, to cry over it, to acknowledge it, but if I can give you any assurance, know that there are other loving hearts all around you struggling with a similar or worse situation and you can embrace each other.    I can hear the song “Hold On” again when it says, “Everything’s gonna be alright.” That is to say, in this context, there is a universal cup of suffering from which we must all drink.  And so, sometimes time is the only thing that can heal our heart and accepting the comfort of those around us helps when we lose someone dear.

Then there are situations when time is not an ally.  There are times when we wallow in misery and despair too long; times when we say “Why me?” too much; times when we play the blame game.  These are those situations where we are dealing with colleagues, interpersonal relations, dealing with folk on our jobs, our friendships, our intimate relationships.  We are in an area now where we have a bit more control… 

You know, we do get passed up for promotions, we get fired, we get mad at family and friends; or we get divorced, saying goodbye to a long term relationship…  There is loss there to.  There is pain there I know!  But we can move forward.  It’s hard, but we can move forward.  Yes, we can ask “What now?” and then develop a plan that gets us down a new path toward healing.  I’ve preached that sermon though, so today I want to go beyond that to another place—a place when we’ve suffered defeat after defeat in our human relationships to a point where we give up.  How many times can you be discriminated against?  How many times can you be taken advantage of?  How many times can you be disgraced or abused by someone?  How many times can your family chastise you over your religious or sexual orientation? How many times ‘til you get to the point where you really don’t want to associate with folk anymore.  “It’ll just be me, myself and I!” you say to yourself.  And you find corners to hide behind.  You hibernate instead so you don’t have to participate.  You don’t want intimacy for fear of vulnerability.   And you don’t want to hear the words, “Hold on just a little while longer, everything’s gonna be alright”--SHUT UP PREACHER-- because that’s just too hopeful and that desire just seems to lead to more suffering.  Somebody hears me this morning! 

The preacher cannot shut up just yet though…  I want you to look at this idea of “holding on” just a bit differently.  I want you to see that although you’ve been let down time and time again, that the song is not saying that you will one day get all you desire; rather it is communicating something else.  It is saying YOU AND I MUST HOLD ON TO THE LITTLE FAITH WE HAVE IN HUMANITY.  I/we cannot lose our faith in people.  The greatest thing about life is people and the worst part about life is people.  But, come what may, we cannot lose faith!

You might feel life has not been unfair to you and think I’m crazy for asking you to hold on to your faith in people; to have an open heart in a vast sea of deception…  Yes, that is what I am asking you to do.

I don’t know but every time I want to give up on folk, a card pops in the mail from someone who remembered a special occasion and it touches my heart.  Every time I want to be done with the human race, I get a call to comfort me in my time of need and it reminds me that there are many wonderful people in the world...  Every time I want to give up a stranger smiles and says “hello” and wants nothing more than to spread a bit of joy.  Every time I want to give up, I hear a voice that says to me that the rain falls and the sun shines on all; every time I say “I’m done, that’s it!” a friend calls and says, “let’s go for a walk and chat.”  Every time I want to give up, I get a kiss on the cheek from a sweet innocent child.  Every time I want to give up I see or read a story about someone who sacrifices their life for another person, just because it is the right thing to do!  Every time

I want to give up on people, I meet a new person who WOWS me and reminds me that there are so many personalities in life and perhaps I need to meet more and experience more so I can discover new possibilities! 

As the movie “Crash” showed us, while we are getting literally crushed by someone, they are being crushed by someone or something else.  Human relationships are complicated and when folk take out their stuff on us as we take out our stuff on them.  It is not always a pretty site.  It can get ugly.  We have to remember that we are all dealing with STUFF; our, as we say in my neighborhood, junk in the trunk; our skeletons; and our past sometimes haunts our present.  We are the sum total of our experiences and YES I AM MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DONE YOU HARM.  But Principle #1 says there is worth and dignity in all.  It does not say “…worth and dignity in all—except those who did me wrong.” 

I don’t know but this helps me to really take each relationship I have as separate and individual.  I prefer not to judge the whole by its parts—rather to judge each part individually knowing that the whole is vast and no parts are exactly alike.  Some pieces are better than others. Amen.

HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH IN HUMAN BEINGS.   If you do, I know that it’ll be alright.   I want you to get from behind that rock.  Stop hiding around that corner.  I want you to get off the sideline.  I want you to embrace a new relationship again.  I want you to be vulnerable.  That is what love is!  I want you to be a little naive in your interpersonal relationships because when you trust someone you have to be willing to stand on the front line; you have to be willing to sacrifice, and so, Let go again!  Hold on to your faith in people.

And remember what that young brother said to me when I was 18 years old.  He said, “It takes perseverance and heart—perseverance even in the face of darkness!”  Yes, sometimes it will take a dogged determination to not lose your faith in people.  But you can do it.  “Morning has come. Night is away.  Rise with the sun and welcome [with joy] the day”—a day where we can try love again; a day where we can HOLD ON just a little while longer.

Amen.

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