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By John T. Crestwell, Jr.
February 27, 2005
Good morning. It is fitting
that we talk about family today, particularly since I will be having
dinner at home with a few family members to celebrate two March 1st
birthdays—Kennedy and Zephyr. It should be interesting… Sharon was
telling me about a conversation she had with Kennedy this week about
life and Kennedy asked her if she will be pretty when she grows up.
Sharon responded, “Well if you take care of yourself, you should be
fine.” Kennedy responded, “Well, JT seems like he’s going to be okay
and I’ll be okay but Zephyr…It’s too early to tell.”
I say that to say that this morning the Seekers have “coached me up”
and want me to share with you a few things regarding family. I think
I’ve gotten the gist of what they want me to convey to you, but I
guess it’s too early to tell…
Now parents, let me say that I am withholding names to protect the
innocent. But to you Seekers, what I am about to say could and
probably will be used against you at some point or time in your
life, so are you sure you want me to proceed??
Okay, to the parents—from the Seekers—here’s a memo: Lesson number
one, if you want your children to be nice, get good grades and not
get on our last nerve. Lesson one from your kids: let us do what we
want, when we want and how we want.
Lesson 2: Do not invade our privacy
Lesson 3: Raise our allowance
Lesson 4: Stop being so protective, go make another baby if you need
something to do.
Lesson 5: Don’t stop our grandparents from spoiling us
Lesson6: Don’t act like you know everything, because you don’t!
Lesson 7: Do not take our food away
Lesson 8: Stop being so bossy
Lesson 9: Just because your parents did it to you-- you don’t have
to do it to us!
And, lesson 10-- if you want nice kids who will not take their
frustrations out on you, get good grades, and won’t get on your
nerves…
Lesson 10 from your kids to you: Parents, you need to relax, relate,
and release a little bit more, just like our grandparents!
THE 10 THINGS YOUR KIDS WANT FROM YOU…
Well, Seekers, that wasn’t so bad… Let me know next week if you feel
the same…
The Seekers have a point. We all want to do what we want to do, when
we want to do it—how we want to do it. It’s not a kid thing, it’s a
human thing. We don’t want people in our business, unless we request
they be there. We don’t want folk hanging all over us trying to
offer guidance and protection--- “EXCUSE ME. DID I ASK FOR YOUR
HELP?” We don’t want people telling us what to do. “I can think for
myself. Leave me alone!” And certainly, we don’t want anybody to
take our food away or control the abundance there of…
I don’t know about you but I think the Seekers were brutally honest.
We all desire to be the master of our fate, the captain of our soul.
The truth is, before we become Invictus, there are certain
sociological lessons that must be passed on to us when we are kids,
so that we can be adjusted in society and live productive lives. One
of the first ways we learn the lessons of life—of sharing, loving
and caring is through the teachings of our bossy, protective parents
or guardians…
We guardians are indeed your first super heroes kids. Yes, before
the Incredibles we were here! You know, we have magic powers too.
Every day when you go into that refrigerator “poof” there is food.
And when we go out to the movies or out to eat and it’s time to pay,
“poof” money appears. And it seems as if there is always this
ceaseless sea of green paper, we can call into existence anytime we
want. We have been trying to hide our powers from you but the truth
is Seekers, it takes a lot to make that trick happen as you probably
know... It takes many, many long hours of effort to make that trick
work.
We also have the power of imagination. We, your guardian heroes, see
you as something greater than us! We see you surpassing what we’ve
done, going and seeing places we’ve never seen. We want you to “Leap
tall buildings with a single bound!” “Look up in the sky, it’s a
bird, it’s a plane---it’s our children!” We want you to be better.
We want you to know more, see more and do more. And this power of
imagination pushes us to push you to be the best that you can be.
But, the greatest power parents, grand parents and guardians have is
the power of love. It is trite but true. We have the power to love
and care for you. We all remember coming in with that scrape on our
knee and crying to mom or dad or grandma or auntie to fix it...
I remember when I got stung by that bee. I ran in the house jumping
around telling my dad, with tears in my eyes, that I got stung by a
bee. He said, “Where” I was frantic and he though I said my chest
and so he threw backing soda down my shirt when it was really my
arm… Yes, I remember the love that went into that backing soda bath
I took. Amen.
We remember those setbacks in school when someone called us a name
or when we did something wrong. Who was there to pick us up and
cheer us up and say, “everything is alright. I still love you?” It
was those bossy people, our parents and guardians.
One of my favorite songs growing up (my mom sang it to me all the
time). It was a song called, “No Charge”. The mother gets a note
from her son and he said that for washing her car $5; taking out the
trash $2; getting good grades $3. The list went on and on… She sat
her son down and said, for the hugs to cheer you up son—NO CHARGE,
for the prayers—no charge, for the home doctoring—no charge, for
wiping your snotty nose—no charge, for the nights and the knowledge
and the cost of your college—no charge son! When you add it all up
the full cost of my love is NO CHARGE.”
This is the gift most have been given by a parent or guardian
through the years and it is truly a gift that keeps on giving. We
ought to be thankful for all those who have been there for us… For
all those who said “NO CHARGE!”
If I could bring this message home-- A very simple definition of
family is a group having a common source. And this stretches the
idea of family beyond parents and the kids. It says that if there is
a common source, a “tie that binds”, there is family. The micro
family we all experience in some capacity, but the macro family is a
blessing not experienced by all. One of those macro families is the
church. The “ecclesia”. Church basically means to congregate or come
together. We come together as people of faith in this sacred hoop of
many hoops, as Black Elk would say, to encourage one another and to
learn and grow, so that we can all be better people. And so our
learning never stops. Our family at home gets us started but we
continue the journey in our extended family—this church, where we
strive to live up to the principles set forth by this faith.
Seekers you continue to learn and grow and listen and be patient
with us. We love you, and want you to manifest your personal
greatness in life. We might be bossy at times, we might be over
protective, we might seem over demanding but when it’s all said and
done, whether it’s your parents at home or RE teaches at church,
truly we want what is best for you. And as a family here in this
place, let us give them our best…
“Here we have gathered, gathered side by side, circle of kinship,
come and step inside! May all who seek here find a kindly word; may
all who speak here feel they have been heard. Here, as a family, we
have gathered, called to celebrate—days of our lifetime, matters
small and great: we of all ages—women, children, men, infants and
sages, sharing what we can. Life has its battles, sorrows and
regret: but in the shadows, let us not forget: we who now gather
know each other’s pain; kindness can heal us, as we give—we gain!”
This will be our closing hymn after the interlude and closing
thought. We are family. Amen and Amen…
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