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Standing on the Side of Love
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Think about, if Leviticus in the OT is an ancient book, around 2500 or 3000 years old, and  it says, “man shall not lie down with man”, “woman shall not lie down with woman,” then same sex relationships must have existed for them to make mention of them (hello)!  Additionally, I don’t know if you know this but the Roman Catholic Church, from the 5th to the 14th century, conducted special ceremonies to bless same-sex unions and they were nearly identical to heterosexual unions (Equality Maryland brochure).

Same sex relationships, homosexuality is not a new phenomenon that threatens our existence.  These relationships have been with us for a long, long time.  The gay community is not a new arrival to this planet as some would like you to think… The fact is this marginalized community has had to live in the closet for way too long.  They’ve sat in churches and lied about their feelings and beliefs; they lied to their parents because they had to; they lied to their heterosexual spouses about their sexual orientation because they wanted to fit in...  And you know this just as well as I do, that if you are not a part of the NORM in society you can be picked with, made fun of, ostracized and victimized…  And I know what I’m talking about this morning because I’ve seen it in my community when you have to “…wear the mask that grins and lies.  That metaphorical mask that hides your cheeks and shades your eyes.  This debt you pay to human guile.  With a torn and bleeding heart you smile, while mouthing mere subtleties.  But why should the world be over-wise in counting all your tears and sighs?  Nay!  Let them only see you when you wear the mask!” (thank you Paul Dunbar).   You have to pretend to be something you are not to be accepted and you just want to fit in—I know!  This is the dilemma many in the gay community have had to live with for centuries.  And so for me,  injustice is injustice, suffering is suffering, oppression is oppression and discrimination is discrimination.  

But I’ve decided on this issue that I want to stand up.  I’m choosing sides.  I’m choosin’ the side that Dr. King would have chosen.  I’m choosing the side that Corretta King chose, I’m choosing the side that Julian Bond chose, I’m choosing the side that Bill Sinkford chose, and I’m choosing the side that my religion has chosen—and that is I choose to STAND ON THE SIDE OF LOVE!

You see, somewhere I read that ALL people are created equal.  Somewhere I read that there is worth and dignity in all creation; somewhere I read that God’s love is unconditional; or as we say in my neighborhood, “God don’t make no junk.”   Somewhere I read that real love is patient and kind and not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.  It hopes all things and endures all things…  It is that kind of love that loves because of our differences not just in spite of our differences.  It is that kind of love that unites and celebrates life, NOT the kind that divides, conquers and destroys life—we call that hate!  It is that kind of love that embraces instead of erases.

You know, when I was testifying I also listened to several stories.  I heard one from a wonderful young women who is married now to a man.  Her birth parents divorced when she was young but her dad found another partner for life—a man, and both of her dads raised her together—successfully...  She talked about how dysfunctional her heterosexual parents were but how nurturing her same-sex parents were, and how upset she was they could not be legitimately married…  It was clear she was dispelling the myth that gay couples make gay children.  Of course you know that most of the stuff you hear against same-sex couples is the same type of hogwash folk used to keep interracial couples from getting married in Maryland.  Maryland did not honor interracial marriage until 1967 (not that long ago).  And it’s also the same type of thing you heard when the government was about to desegregate schools.  They said “If you integrate the schools it would push the White race back a generation,” which meant that it was okay to keep an oppressive educational system because it would cause the other to fail, thereby justifying continued subjection and discrimination… It was fully irrational as is most of what you hear today regarding same-sex marriage. 

But, the one story that got to me the most was the one involving a lesbian couple raising a little boy.  One of the ladies lifted this cute kid up in the air and when you saw that innocence it affected you, no matter who you were.  Then she said to all the Delegates, with tears in her eyes… “How can you deny this little child the love we have for him and the future we want to give him—together?”  My heart dropped, and there was no response to her question…  My mind began to drift in that moment and I began thinking about the thousands of children who need to be adopted, who spend their whole lives in the foster care system in this country and many of them were neglected by their birth parents; and they need someone to love them—to provide a future for them.  How can you deny folk because of their sexual orientation, the gift of being able to share their abundance with so many who need them?   And all I could hear were the words to one of our great hymns crying in my soul: “Can I see another’s woe and not be in sorrow too?  Can I see another’s grief and not seek for kind relief?  Can I see a falling tear and not feel my sorrow’s share?  No, No never can it be— never, never can it be!” 

Then some other words came to mind:  “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbol….  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge, and I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love— I AM NOTHING.  If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may willing die for a good cause, but do not have love, I gain nothing…”

And so, we have to stand up on the side in love and say that if we believe in the worth and dignity of all people, no matter their sexual orientation; that if we believe “God is no respecter of persons”; if we believe we are all sisters and brothers on this planet, then whenever you get the chance, and humanity calls to you, stand up and say with power and conviction that denying folk their inherent rights as human beings is wrong!

Perhaps you are wrestling with this issue…  Let me say to you—I understand… However, I ask that you simply do what Gandhi challenged us to do, “Walk a mile in another’s moccasins” and you will see, like I saw, it is not just a fight for the gay community, it is a battle for justice and freedom for all human beings.  We are either going to live up to the principles of our faith and tenets set forth in our constitution then move forward, or go backward to tragic days history won’t allow us to forget…  I say let us, once and for all, put an end to subjugation; put an end to discrimination against folk just because they are a woman, or just because they are a man, or Gay or Straight or Asian or Black or Arab or Jewish or Palestinian—put an end to this madness, once and for all no matter how it manifests!  And if we do this, I do feel we will speed up the day of peace on earth. We have the power!

And so, we have to look at this moment in history and realize with all of the changes taking place from the Supreme Court to District Court, this is our time—humanity is calling us; calling all of the gentle, angry people and asking “Will you stand up for what is right?—will you stand up for what is just for the sake of the world?”  The Universe is calling and asking, “Will you stand up together on the side of love?”   We’ve been quiet too long now…  The thinkers and progressive minds that built this country have been quiet too long now…  The call has come and it is time for the gentle, angry people to say something—it’s time for the justice seeking people to say something—it’s time for the young and old together to say something—it’s time for the land of many colors to cry out for reciprocity.  Yes, it’s time for the gentle, angry people to say they are standing on the side of love!   It is “in this spirit that we will build a community and move toward restoration.”  Amen.

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Copyright by Rev. John T. Crestwell. All rights reserved. Please contact him for permission to use.

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Members are located In Maryland (MD) , Prince George's County (PG Co.) : Accokeek, Brandywine, Camp Springs, Cheverly, Clinton, District Heights, Forestville, Fort Washington, Friendly, Ft. Washington, Greenbelt, Marlton, Mitchellville, Oxon Hill, Suitland, Temple Hills, Upper Marlboro; Charles County: Indian Head, Port Tobacco, Waldorf, LaPlata, White Plains, Chicamuxen; Calvert County: Chesapeake Beach, Dunkirk, Owings, Solomons, Sunderland; Montgomery County: Silver Spring; Baltimore; Frederick County: Emmitsburg; Anne Arundel County: Deale, Tracys Landing; In Virginia (VA): Alexandria, Arlington, Falls Church; and Washington, D.C.