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By John T. Crestwell, Jr.
November 20, 2004
(SONG SUNG BEFORE SERMON)
My song, “FAITH”, I wrote about 10 years ago during one of those
times in your life where you need faith to pull you through a rough
place… I was working for Metrovision Cable as the youngest manager
in the company. I had many employees I supervised, my salary was
good and Sharon was pregnant and a new stay-at-home mom with JT, my
first child. I was on cloud 9! Unfortunately, the beautiful Serus
cloud turned into a threatening Thunderhead after 2 years (9 months
after my move from Texas) as new company took over and I lost my
job.
Here I am with a new job, new house, new baby. Sharon was a brand
new stay-at home-mom as I said, and my world came crashing down. I
did what I was taught so I prayed and prayed and prayed BUT no
answer came. I asked the God I knew back then “WHY?” I suffered from
anxiety and depression and I got real negative, and thought life was
cruel.
That’s when I met Ronald Dunn. I didn’t physically meet him but I
read his book “WHEN HEAVEN IS SILENT”. Up until then, I had a lot of
magical formulas that I used to make sure I was blessed. If I didn’t
curse, If I went to church, if I was a good husband, if I didn’t
drink, if I was a really religious, perhaps I could avoid the
calamities that befall so many… This was my thought. But it
happened. Life happened to me and now I had to deal with it…
Dunn helped me find perspective. You see, he lost his first son to a
tragic car accident and as a minister he wrestled with that deep
existential question “WHY” or “WHY ME?”
And his story was like mine--- NO ANSWER came. We heard in the
reading this morning from Dunn’s book that the simple answers don’t
always explain the unexplainable. You know, someone gets murdered.
“Well was it a drug dealer, or was it domestic violence, or maybe
somebody was out at 3am when they should’ve been home? It has to be
something explainable… God forbid if it’s a RANDOM crime... NO, NO,
NO. The human psyche can’t deal with RANDOM. If I said to you there
is a certain randomness in life, many of us don’t want to hear that…
“Yes, standing where calamity has struck, we are stunned with
bewilderment,” as Davies said. He continued, “What is the use of
hope and faith, of patient labor and long endurance? And what is the
use of this—this senseless, blind destruction” which takes place
when our hearts are broken and life throws us a curve.
You know you can wallow in misery for a long time. You can wallow
about that job. You can despair about broken relationships, you can
get depressed about those bills, or for many of us that election
(hello). We can sit there, right there, in the midst of it and say
“WOE IS ME. WE CAN LIVE RIGHT THEIR IN THE JEWISH SHEOL; IN OUR
LIVING CATHOLIC PURGATORY; IN THAT BUDDHIST HELL, if you get my
point… Or you can step out of that cycle, find release, and begin
down a new path…
That’s all we can do… Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times
when we must grieve and be angry and frustrated. But this is a
season and our rebirth begins there. But to complete our learning
and growth in the process it is vital that we move forward. Now,
just how do we move forward?
Well, Ronald Dunn came up with a simple formula that therapeutically
brought him back. And it brought me back. Also, A. Powell Davies
gave us a few pointers… And then I have found a few things that work
for me…
First, Dunn. What does he reveal to us. Nothing new but something
simple… Dunn says that in order to move forward we must not ask,
“Why me?” or even “Why” rather he says we must ask “What now?” You
see, WHY is defensive. He says that it blames, it seeks a scapegoat,
WHY keeps us in the cycle of negativity. WHY or WHY ME can never be
answered.
WHAT NOW moves us out of the defensive to the offensive. WHAT NOW
moves us from looking at a situation negatively to positively. WHAT
NOW is not stagnant it is kinetic. WHAT NOW does not eat at us in
the depths of our being, rather it heals us and catapults us forward
to a loftier and deeper spirituality. WHAT NOW transitions us from
blame to acceptance and assists us in re-channeling, refocusing, and
re-visioning a brighter today and tomorrow. That is the power of two
simple words that have gigantic ramifications! Ask yourself-- WHAT
NOW?
Then Davies tells us clearly that—and I quote, “…where a plan was
crushed or a hope was broken, something better than plans and
stronger than hope began to grow…”
Davies is speaking about FAITH and COURAGE. Davies was a liberal
Christian but here I think he is NOT referring to believing in
something metaphysical only. And that is not the core of what he is
saying. So, this is not belief in the God who solves your problems
and fights your battles for you. Davies’ God would not be a paternal
guardian. His God was much more complex. And he would say his God
has empowered him with the ability to overcome any obstacle!
What is at the core of Davies’ message? I think he is talking about
a faith that says “BE NOT AFRAID TO LIVE. Everyday is a walk of
faith. We trust that our houses will heat our bodies without a fire
starting. We trust that we can drive and our car won’t breakdown;
that it will turn and stop… We trust that bus driver on Metro, or
the subway, or that escalator, or traffic light will work, or food
we eat when out, or whatever... LIFE IS A FAITH WALK. So faith for
Davies is belief in yourself that you can pick yourself up no matter
the calamity that befalls. He believed we could pick ourselves up
and start again even with worn out tools. It also takes courage to
do this. But we must press on toward our mark indeed!
We are all destined to be victimized by life in some capacity. We
mentally know that but, cannot wallow in it. Our test will be how do
you/we respond to the struggles of living? This is the human test we
must pass; and our very happiness and peace rest there. Too many of
us stay in HELL that we get used to it. “IT’S NOT SO HOT AFTER ALL,”
we say to ourselves… But you are kidding yourself. IT’S HOT and
UNHAPPY. But it is our choice... You/we have a choice to move on
or not.
Back to my story when I was a young man… I stopped asking “WHY?”
and began asking “WHAT NOW?”, which helped bring me back mentally
and emotionally. I began to see that I had been looking at life all
wrong. I was looking at life and thinking life owed me something?
But I figured it out. I was asking the wrong question of life, and
so I asked a new question to myself: “John, what do you owe life?
John, what shall you render unto life for all the blessings you have
been given?” And this opened me up from the inside out. It pricked
my consciousness deeply and I realized I was fortunate to be alive.
In the midst of my loss, I began to say, “Life is a blessing.” I
came to see that the sun and rain shine and fall on the good and bad
alike and that this was life. But in spite of all the problems, I
was beginning to remember that there are many, many precious things
and moments in life. So, when I would get home from
interviews—frustrated and jobless, I’d see little J.T. with his
mommy. I would grab him and hold on to him, looking into those
beautiful eyes, and I saw that wonderful innocence and purity, and
it hit me---YES THE PRECIOUS THINGS OF LIFE! I decided to spend more
time with him and enjoy my son. As I thought less about work
opportunities presented themselves and the Buddhist principle of
letting go manifested. As it is written, “In times of trouble do
nothing.” I didn’t know any better, I was just refocusing and
re-channeling my energy naturally. Financially, funds were coming up
a bit short to pay bills but friends and family chipped in. I wrote
several songs (like the one you heard), read a lot, and continued to
spend time with my wife and new baby. I was focused on what was
precious to me.
This was my solution. To remember what is precious in life. I don’t
know what is precious to you? Whether it’s your children, or if you
don’t have children, it’s a loved one, or perhaps it is your pet or
garden or yard or favorite park you walk through, or the drive down
Brandywine Road to see the beautiful trees in the Fall, which tells
you over and over life is beautiful. I don’t know what is precious
to you… But whatever it is, you have to discover or rediscover it.
That is where you will find your release. What can you render to
life? You can render your appreciation for the gift of life afforded
to you.
As we enter into the holiday season with Thanksgiving upon us, many
of you will eat with family and friends. If you get a chance to
share around the table regarding what you are thankful for, remember
what I have shared with you today. Remember that it’s the precious
things in life that really matter. And when you leave this sanctuary
today, have the courage to persevere even in the face of darkness.
Have the courage to move beyond the WHY to the WHAT NOW. And have
the courage to believe in yourself. The Spirit of Life has given you
the power to overcome whatever trial or tribulation you are facing…
And so, as I close: “Give thanks for the corn and the wheat that are
reaped…”
HYMN 69 (Read). Give thanks this day…. That is the hymn we shall
sing after the interlude. Amen.
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