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By John T. Crestwell, Jr.
January 25, 2004 - updated July 28, 2004
Wednesday, January 21 was a pretty crazy day but in many ways the
norm for my life. I woke up at 7am, got cleaned up and went to my
home office to look at my "to do" list. That's the list of all the
stuff you write down you're planning on accomplishing by the days
end but it normally takes you a week to complete. My mind tends to
be more ambitious than my body. J.T. and Kennedy are up by 7:30am
loud as usual and back into their fantasy world of Ninja Turtles,
Spiderman and Barbie. They come running down the stairs. I recognize
the gallop... They want breakfast. I tell them, "Go ask your momma".
They sigh, "Ah man" and keep playing knowing mom is not getting up
until around 8:30am with Zephyr who's name means "Gentle West Wind"
but he was a Gale Force Wind last night and Sharon is tired. Just as
a sidebar, yes, I do fix breakfast and wake up to quiet the baby --
sometimes.
Well, it's time for me to leave the house by the time Sharon gets
up. I've got to get to Gaithersburg, then to another meeting in the
District, and back home so that Sharon and the tribe can follow me
to Sibley Hospital where my sister is delivering her second child.
We have to drive two cars because I have to take my mother home with
her granddaughter, my sisters 14-month old whom she will watch for
awhile. They'd been at the hospital since 4:30am and were exhausted.
I simply wanted to go see the new baby smile and say, "Awe look at
the baby..." and be on my way. Anyhow, Sharon follows me to the
hospital, and at about 2pm we see the baby and say, "Awe look at the
baby..." and 30-minutes later I'm leaving with my mom and niece,
another car-seat and more baby stuff heading to my mother's house.
Sharon is following.
Well, we arrive. My big kids decide they want to stay with their
Grammy. I remind Sharon that I'm not going home but off to another
meeting. She says she and Zephyr are going home but she'll pick the
kids up at 5:45pm to take them to track and field at 6pm and for me
to find my own dinner. No problem, I'm use to that, so off she goes,
off I go, but the days not over!
It's 3:30, my cell phone rings. It's Sharon. Why is she calling me
30-minutes after I left her? That means there's a problem. I was
right. She tells me Don left us a message on the machine giving us
the news on his health. Now, I'm tired and in shock. Don doesn't
leave a number, so I call information get the number to GW Hospital.
I reach Don by 4pm. We talk. He is calm, then really upset, then
consoling me and apologizing for his health. He assures me that this
will not stop Davies plan. I tell him not to worry about that and to
focus on getting better. I'm pulling my car over now to talk safely
to Don while I eat a sandwich I just bought. It's hard to eat, talk
on the phone and drive, you know... Don mentions Duke-Maryland
basketball game. I said, "hey I'm coming over to watch with you
tonight." He said, "Don't worry about it". I said, "No, I want to."
He said, "No, don't worry about it I'm okay." And so, I said to him
what Lynn Fox had just said to me days before. I said, "Don who
ministers to the minister." He laughed heartily (HA!). Then he said,
"Okay, if you come, I won't kick you out, the nurses might."
I get home at around 10pm. Zephyr the "night owl" is still up. I
take him to bed and wait for him to fall asleep. By 11pm Sharon and
I sit and talk for a few minutes but I have to get ready for the
next day. I make it to bed by 1am, so I can wake up promptly at 7am.
Sharon gets in bed a bit earlier at 12:30am. The day is over... But
a new day beckons...
If that tires any of you out you are not alone. Many days I am
totally spent by the end of the day. The Crestwell household can be
crazy sometimes. I bet some of your households are just as crazy.
There's always a bunch of STUFF going on. There's martial arts,
track & field, tennis, finance meeting, board meeting, JPD meeting,
the miscellaneous business meeting, travel with the job... There's
always something that whisks us away and doesn't allow us time for
introspection. Many of you here at Davies are retired and I bet some
of you are busier now than you've ever been your whole life. Life is
just flying by. You are busy! WE ARE BUSY! We do we have a chance to
breathe? When do we have a chance to think? When do we have a chance
to find ourselves?
The sermon title this morning is contemplation and in substance this
means thoughtful inspection or study. And in a broader sense it has
to do with religious or mystical meditation. When we contemplate we
think about something intently and carefully; we observe; we
meditate on something important. There are aspects of life that we
cannot control. But there are many occasions when we can seize
control of our lives to find time for contemplation. If you believe
there's no time, you have to MAKE TIME! YOU HAVE TO TAKE TIME.
I've spoken to enough people and ministers and I have found that
when people are spending there last days on earth, they're about to
die; they don't spend their time contemplating the awards they've
won, or the business ventures they were involved in. They don't talk
about the Board meeting or the JPD Strategic Growth Initiative. When
folk get ready to "cross the bar" into that great unknown, they are
not interested in what are trivialities. Or as Solomon in the Bible
puts it, "exercises in futility," rather they discuss the great
sights they have seen, the love they shared, and the wish that they
could have seen and shared more. They discuss and think on the
beauties of life. In those final moments, they reveal to us what is
ultimately important: finding time to breathe, time to see and
share, time to stand and stare.
We need time for contemplation. Time to think about our lives; time
to observe; time to allow those epiphanies to overwhelm us with the
great insights they provide; time for a religious experience that
adds meaning and purpose to our lives. Some of the greatest moments
I have is when I watch my children play, listening to those sweet
voices. The freedom and trust they have is moving. They don't know
what day of the week it is or even what time it is. When the sun
comes up they get up, and when the sun goes down, they go to down
(well they never really want to sleep). They live!
I want to live! What about you? Recently I have been taking more
time for contemplation and introspection. Like Thoreau, I have been
observing nature. This has become a high religious experience.
Watching this big old tree in the yard communicate to me in a very
special way has become an important moment for me. That big ole tree
says to me, "Stand in awe mortal human. I am your elder. I've been
here longer than the oldest person in your extended family. I have
seen the rain, wind and snow. I have seen the lightening flash, I
felt its sting too, and I have heard and felt the thunder roll. I
have seen much. I will be here when you are gone... I stand and
stare at all that is around me. I contemplate my existence. I feel.
I taste. I see better than you. Let me tell you something... This is
a great adventure mortal human if you just slow down, breathe,
stand, and stare."
This woody perennial helps me see where I'm losing touch with what
is important. He helps me get my mind back in tune with that which I
am a part of. As I stand in the cold night air my emotions get the
best of me because I am feeling my oneness with nature again and
suddenly my spirit speaks to all that consumes me with a hymn of
supplication that heals my mind, body and spirit: "Dark of winter,
soft and still, your quiet calm surrounds me. Let my thoughts go
where they will; ease my mind profoundly. And then my soul will sing
a song, a blessed song of love eternal. Gentle darkness, soft and
still bring your quiet to me." I'm having an epiphany so I have to
continue my song: "Darkness soothe my weary eyes, that I may see
more clearly. When my heart with sorrow cries, comfort and caress
me. And then my soul may hear a voice, a still, small voice of love
eternal. Darkness, when my fears arise, let your peace flow through
me."
Life is fast-paced and we can miss out on what is important. We need
time to contemplate the verities. Friends, find time to stand and
stare. Make time to appreciate this very short journey we call life.
Stand in awe mortal humans. Thank you for your time this morning.
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