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By Rev. Preston K. Mears Jr.
November 29, 2009
This Sunday is the first Sunday of Advent on the traditional
Christian ecclesiastical calendar; it is both the start of the new
liturgical year and preparations for the coming of Jesus. Advent in
the Latin literally means, “To come.” As such it references both the
birth of the person Jesus some 2000 years ago and the return of
Jesus when history will be completed.
There seems to be some confusion about the particulars and the time
of this return and just what all will happen when it will take
place. Over the past 100 years, the focus has been on the birth of
the person and making it all something of birthday party celebration
with gift giving to each other. Needless to say, the commercial
retail world has signed on with a ringing chorus of “Amens.” It may
come as a surprise to many Christians today, as well as
non-Christians, that Christmas was not historically an important
celebration. Indeed, two of the Gospels make no reference to the
particulars of Jesus birth and only one brings in the Wisdom
tradition and the wise men following the star.
Interestingly, in the Jewish tradition, in our time and age,
Chanukah has come to be emphasized in our time; it celebrates the
uprising of the Maccabees in the third century BC and the account of
there miraculously being enough oil for the ritual oil lamps not
going out. Again an image of light being a focal point as was the
appearing of the star an increasingly emphasized element of the
Christmas celebration. Mind you, in Jewish worship, both Yom Kippur
and Passover are far more important than Chanukah. Like Christmas,
Chanukah involves gift giving.
In addition, in America, for African American families there is
Kwanzaa; it celebrates seven principles that are tied to African
traditions and ideas of family unity, support, and identity. Its
celebration includes the lighting of candles and gift giving in the
family. Ron Karenga created Kwanzaa in 1966 as the first
specifically African-American holiday. "...to give Blacks an
alternative to the existing holiday and give Blacks an opportunity
to celebrate themselves and history, rather than simply imitate the
practice of the dominant society.” He received support from the
Unitarian Universalist Association to do that.
I want to suggest that we would do well to pause and reflect on the
underlying themes on all of these three now dominant traditions that
make up the American Holiday experience. I would have it be possible
that we can get from here, the Sunday after Thanksgiving and through
the Holiday season whole and worshipful. Our children in their
classes are learning about these traditions and in three different
services in the weeks ahead we will all take time to appreciate
these traditions.
Let’s get to the facts: The Holidays are supposed to be a happy,
happy time. For some, it is not; for others, it ends up being a
frenetic race. When I was a kid, Christmas was a happy, magic time
with family with snow and lights and presents and school vacation. A
side note here: Thanksgiving was and is a big family deal to the
Mears, in no small measure due to my mother having been raised on a
farm on Long Island. My Long Island ancestors were Separatists, part
of the English religious group who were at Plymouth for the first
Thanksgiving, not the Puritans. The fact that the land my ancestors
farmed had been cleared and farmed by Indians who were driven out by
European diseases and English soldiers was not part of our
Thanksgiving story. The joy of a Harvest celebration, I think,
especially for farming folk, has its roots in the soil. I loved
Thanksgiving as a kid and still do. As a kid, though, I couldn’t
wait to get to the next big family gathering, Christmas. It was so
far away. Anyone here have that problem?
So, how to use the time we have in the next few weeks? First, let’s
be clear that this has not been a good time for a lot of people. It
is the worst time of year if you are in poverty—the needs for warm
clothing, heat and food become more acute with the onset of winter
months. There are those among us who have been impacted painfully by
this economy. Now there are one in eight people receiving Food Stamp
Program benefits; it used to be one in ten. One in eight—that is a
lot of people, a lot of pain. One of the things I recognized when I
was a State welfare office supervisor was come Holiday season time,
people felt their poverty more acutely than at any other time of the
year, in part, because all around are happy, happy messages. And,
the pain of isolation and fear, the feelings of depression weigh
heavily.
I learned some lessons from that work. One of the best things we can
do for ourselves, and for each other, is simply and frankly to
acknowledge our circumstances. What is good in our circumstances is
good and what is not, is not. If I ask you, “How goes it?” can you
answer me simply and openly? “Good” if it is good but, if not, “Not
so good with this job market.” Would I understand or would I move
away? Gift me with the opportunity to be real; gift each other. Gift
our selves with permission to be miserable if that is our
circumstance. When I was sick, and was able to say so, people here
did not move away; it made a difference. So, sick or poor or healthy
and without a mortgage under water, we can and do need to be real.
The images of a light from a star or candles lit in celebration do
express a universal sense of longing and hope so shouldn’t everyone
be happy? No, we lose touch with the meaning and value of these
religious symbols. Even a bright star is not the sun and a candle on
a table is just a flickering light. What they do remind us of
possibilities of what we aspire to and what, at the end of the busy
day, we value, we cherish. I suspect that the magi, the wisdom
tradition people were actually the first Unitarian Universalists.
They believed that there was meaning to be found and that it could
be found in any place, at any time in any religion among any people.
We are on a journey.
Okay, let’s be real with each other but what about this gift giving
and all the frantic shopping even if we can afford it. The original
idea of gift giving was to state that we care about the people
around us and for them to feel affirmed. Okay, so turn off the
commercial noise and approach the matter spiritually, if you would.
Remember, spirituality is expanding our consciousness, our awareness
of ourselves, of others and all of life. Spiritual gift giving,
then, is a simple act of entering into the orbit of another, really
appreciating who they are and how they are important in and of
themselves and to us. And, then the idea for the gift will come and
it need not be big or expensive; it just needs to be personal. One
year, we literally had $50 for Christmas gifts. So, Laurie and I
bought materials with that money and we made gifts. They were kind
of on the homey side and they were personal. They were meaningful.
Maybe, as a way of affirming that we are all in this together even
with this lousy economy, and, if, we have not been hammered by this
economy, let’s take a tithe of our gift purchasing budget, 10%, and
share that with those who have been hammered. Pick the need or the
cause. Here at Davies we work with Beacon House as a conduit of
providing gifts to kids in need. If you have been hammered, then let
it be okay for you to receive.
Talk about poverty, and like much of the world today, Russian
peasants had, at best, a subsistence level of living. To me, the
Stone Soup story that Laurie shared tells of people having enough
through the simple act of a community sharing what it does have. I
believe, also, that through sharing, there was enough food, which it
is also a metaphor for how we can be ourselves most fully through
our difficult times by looking to see what we have, emotionally if
you would, to put into the pot. There are times when we need to be
sustained by others and times when we need to be sustained.
So what is possible? A great deal by our being willing to be honest
about our reality and willing to share what resources we have.
Economic resources are good, but for the long haul, the emotional
resources we have to share are the most important. And, then,
remember, despite all the gadgets and technical gizmos that
titillate and fascinate, we need to spiritually connect in our
giving of gifts by expanding our awareness of each other. I always
thought the Old Skin Horse in the Velveteen Rabbit story said it
best when asked by the rabbit what was real? Was it to have parts
that buzzed and moved? The Old Skin Horse said, “Real is when you
have been loved very much.”
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